SERVICE AVAILABILITY NOTICE
ERR // 503
503
Service unavailable.
TEMPORARILY OFF AIR
CONTROL ROOM // CURRENT STATUS
ON AIR
BACK SOON
PROBABLY
PUBLIC OUTPUT // TEMPORARILY SUSPENDED
The archive is currently unavailable.
Nothing appears to be broken. Nobody has reported smoke. The equipment is standing by with an almost suspicious degree of innocence.
THERE IS SIMPLY NOBODY HERE.
Service has therefore been suspended until somebody returns to the control room and resumes looking professionally at the meters.
ARCHIVE SYSTEMS
STANDING BY
PUBLIC OUTPUT
PAUSED
CONTROL ROOM
UNATTENDED
ENGINEER
TEA
KETTLE
LOCAL AND ACCOUNTED FOR
BISCUITS
STATUS UNKNOWN
EXPECTED RETURN
SHORTLY
“SHORTLY”
NOT CONTRACTUALLY DEFINED
ARCHIVE RESPONSE
503 // SERVICE UNAVAILABLE
DUTY ENGINEER’S NOTE
Service will resume as soon as somebody returns with the key.
At present, three members of staff each believe one of the other two has it.
This has been described as “a temporary administrative condition”.
Service will resume as soon as somebody returns with the key.
At present, three members of staff each believe one of the other two has it.
This has been described as “a temporary administrative condition”.
Please try again shortly.
In the meantime, do not interpret the absence of staff as permission to enter the control room and adjust anything yourself.
We know what happened last time.
In the meantime, do not interpret the absence of staff as permission to enter the control room and adjust anything yourself.
We know what happened last time.